Jacking off, auditioning the finger puppets, milking the one eyed trouser snake, digging for treasure, teasing the tuna taco…………..whichever way you look at it approximately 95% of men and 60% of women do it……….and I’m pretty sure most of the rest lie.  ‘Outercourse’ is a pastime with some interesting benefits – apart from the obvious.  So before you enjoy your next oil change or go on your date with Pamela Handerson, then consider this……………………….

10 MEDICAL FACTS ABOUT MASTURBATION YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW

1. Should you feel the need to choke the chicken for a few hours or more, you may find your member suffering from a case of oedema/edema (swelling of the penis) which, although presumably looks pretty impressive, I would think is pretty uncomfortable and pretty fucking worrying.  Still, it should subside after a few hours of rest, so try and keep your wanking episodes to an hour max….ok?

2. Masturbating can aid premature or delayed ejaculation as it can help to develop control over you shooting your cumload so you can have a good wank content in the fact that its all for a good cause.

3. It is possible to burn off 25-35 calories for a 20 minute shuffle session and even 100 calories or so once you’ve spurted ya spunk!

4. Masturbation is good for your wellbeing……….it causes your body to produce more endorphins – leaving you feeling upbeat and happy……………

5. For women, a good flicking clears out the opening of the cervix, ridding it of slit shit, such as leftover spunk, viruses, bacteria and even menstrual matter…………..ewwwww………enough information

6. A 2003 survey found that frequent male masturbators have a lower risk of prostate cancer………well if that’s not an excuse to jerk off lads, I don’t know what is.

7. Put aside a bit of tossing off time to lower your blood pressure and stress levels and therefore help with any insomnia………..so fap before you nap.

8. Ejaculating reducing swelling in the nasal vessels, so is therefore a good cure for hayfever……unblock with ya cock.

9. In women, masturbation can help with PMS, cramps and other menstrual symptoms……….no excuses there then girls………..it’s all good.

10. One of the newer finds – masturbation actually calms Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) – this is due to the fact that an orgasm produces dopamine, a hormone that is present in medication prescribed for RLS……and it’s free……….

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